BUBO Boobs!

Those damn locustellas - can't hold their drink...
"After a brutal flailing arm broke the nose of Malaga defender Patrick Mtiliga, Ronaldo and Real Madrid contested the handed two game ban. Their defense? A video of Lionel Messi flailing like a woman being chased at a local pub by a drunkard gropper."
From The Offside football news website.

Now those Punkbirders have quite a following, but I'm not sure whether I'd be quite as excited as a flock of egrets when I meet one of them...
"This incredulous flock of eight European Great White Egrets flew east over Alex Lees..."
From the UK400 Club blog.

I'll soon have to create a specific Lee Evans page:
"Not once have I ever claimed to be a law-abider at a twitch."
From http://www.surfbirds.com/forum/showthread.php?t=4305.

After White-crowned Sparrows visiting libraries, Lee Evans now has talking walls:
"...a fabulous male TWO-BARRED CROSSBILL favouring peanut feeders in an isolated North Yorkshire Moor garden ... do not trample the garden or damage the eloquent stone walls by the pond."

LGRE also notes that the twitch for the Lincolnshire Steppe Grey Shrike involves "a very long ... and arduous walk to the shrike site, which will take at least 20 minutes". Aren't birders soft these days?!

From Kerala Birder mailing list:
"Of interest during this period was sightings of Brown Noddy. They seemed to be very common in these offshore waters and I had very good views from the bridge, in flight and while swimming."

From FourFourTwo magazine:
"During a 2002 match between Botafogo and Gremio, a giant lapwing swooped from the sky and deflected Botafogo striker Fabio’s goalbound shot away from the line. Asked if the bird was injured, furious Fab said “sadly not”. The game ended all square, and Gremio fans sang “Lapwing, Lapwing”."

From Lee Evans UK400 Club website, regarding the clearly intellectual Cley White-crowned Sparrow:
"This bird was first seen last Thursday (3rd January), when it was visiting the back garden of the local vicar and his neighbours. It was joining an assortment of common garden species at regular intervals on the bird table and feeding station. After visiting a Norwich library, its identification was suspected, but a visit by Cley birder Richard Porter on Friday dispelled any doubts. . . . . “"

BUBO have discovered potentially the weirdest thing on the whole Internet. You need to read the full bizarre details, but meanwhile try to digest the following edited highlights:

"pondering the ransacked nest balanced in my uterus"

Promotional phrase for the BTO Nest Records Scheme maybe?

"A day after seeing a red-chested bird
I refer to by color and size
because I can't figure its name.
Size: rice bowl (the one with fish etchings where earrings are kept).
I've concluded Red-Chested/Rice Bowl a holiday bird."

Not quite convincing enough a description for the BBRC to accept this record of 'holiday bird'?

"One thousand divided by five equals two hundred equals over half the year, bird-days. How does a bird wing factor: it counts as a bird-day"

Aha, so I now understand the usefulness of the bird-days concept.

From Hoslist, the email group of the Hampshire Ornithological Society:
"...there was a Hobby which gave great value for half an hour, munching its way through flying insects, plus two Wheatears."

From the problem page of the Sunday Express magazine:
"I think I've uncovered my partners secret. In the six years I've known him, he's insisted on at least 3 holidays on his own each year. He says he's a birdwatcher, but I've never seen him show much interest in wildlife at home. A few weeks ago, I happened to see inside his case. Instead of binoculars and bird books, it seemed full of evening clothes - and I'm sure I saw condoms. etc...".
Suggestions as to who the scoundrel is to mike@bubo.org please!

Some rarities are just plain show-offs (from the Berksbirds recent sightings):

Overheard by Mike and Andy at the Pennington Stilt Sandpiper:
"I've got it, nice, it's just like a big Greenshank."

A joke courtesy of three year old Tom Musgrove:
"What do you call a snake that's also a bird? An Ana-condor!"

Quote from Tim Inskipp on the Oriental Birding e-group regarding his recent trip to Myanmar:
"We saw very few forest birds - mainly because of the lack of forest."

Birds in Huddersfield, 1996 Annual Report:
"The explosion of gulls since World War 2 has often been the subject of great concern."
Mostly to the gulls themselves, one imagines. Presumably, exploding gulls were less noticeable during World War 2 due to the frequency of other explosions? It is hypothesised that the explosion of gulls may well be due to increased feeding on rubbish tips, due to the build up of methane in the atmosphere. However, the explosion of other species in recent years, such as Little Egret, Dartford Warbler, etc. is widely thought to be due to global warming. These species presumably contain significant quantities of volatile materials which are very sensitive to temperature changes. Any further theories welcome though.

From the UK400 website on Dave Walters' interview with Will Wagstaff: "Mr Isles of Scilly speaks exclusively to Dave Walters and impresses the pants of him."

Uttered by two year old Tom Musgrove at playgroup when asked if he'd been to the cinema:
"A cinema's a type of red and black moth that eats ragwort".

Overheard by Rich at the Marmora's Warbler twitch in Suffolk:
"There it is, flying right!" (that's a Linnet)
"Landed, right out on top of that gorse bush!" (that's a Linnet)
"Brilliant view!" (he scopes a cracking male Linnet)
"It's singing now!"(that's a Linnet!)
...silence...

American waitress: "Would you like a pitcher of beer?"
Rick Andrews: "No thanks, we know what beer looks like."

Its white forms have predominantly white plumage...

From "The Herons Handbook" by Hancock and Kushlan, describing the Little Egret - a bold attempt to take bird books down the road of describing the bleedin' obvious.

The most unique

The lead car is absolutely unique, except for the one behind it which is identical.

Murray Walker

As Phil De Glanville said, each game is unique, and this one is no different to any other.

John Sleightholme, BBC 1

The Centenary Test is a unique occasion - a repeat of Melbourne 1977.

Jim Laker

Miscellaneous

John Terry, speaking after England's World Cup game against USA:
"Rob Green mustn't worry about his howler, he's a fine goalkeeper and the team are all behind him."
I'm not a great tactical expert, but that does seem to be a somewhat over-defensive formation. Pity they weren't all behind him when he missed the ball.